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Things People Ask Big Families

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A guest post by “Confessions of a Flawed Human” – Christina is a long time friend who I took State with in Competitive Show Choir as a teen (yes, we were the coolest kids in our school, thank you for asking).  Christina lives many States away but through the miracle of Facebook we have kept in touch. I have been hounding her to start her own blog and she finally did it!  I hope you will go check it out – but before you do – she was kind enough to take time out of her “I’ve got seven kids” day to write about some of the fun things she hears as a Mom to a big family. Christina is our guest blogger today!  Thank you Christina! I love you for sharing!

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About 7 years ago my husband came to pick me up from the hospital to bring home our 4th child and first born son. He brought all 3 girls with him and we stopped for bagels on the way home. I waddled (tell me you’re not sore after having a baby) into Einstein brothers feeling so full of love for my (in my mind) huge family. Not long after, as we were seated at a table eating our bagels and schmear, a large van pulled up. (I call them homeschool vans, whether they homeschool or not. Just an FYI.) A stream of children came out of this van, getting progressively smaller the more that came out.

When the family came into the shop I couldn’t help but watch. They looked like they had a system. Mom took everyone’s order, Dad watched over the young ones, and the older kids started moving chairs and tables to get a space large enough to accommodate their whole family. I didn’t realize I was staring until one of the older girls – I’m guessing she was 14 – looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, but quickly looked away. Who wants to be gawked at?

I had no idea that one day it would be my family that looked like the Tournament of Roses parade every time we entered a public establishment. Nor did I know that I would have to answer questions about the size of my family every single time we ventured into public as a whole.

Some of the questions I get are funny. Some could be offensive if I was the type to take offense, but I am more of a laugh it off kind of gal. I might “Oh-no-she-didn’t!” for a minute or two, but then I let it roll. Here are the top 8 most cringe-worthy questions I have been asked:

  1. “Trying to catch up to the Duggars?” No, no we’re not. First off, do you really think I am so shallow as to bring children into this world just for the sake of “catching-up” to someone? That’s a big no. Second, in order to even break even with them, I would have to have a DOZEN more children. Twelve more! That’s a great big NO, friends. Just, no.

 

  1. “Are they all yours?” I don’t really understand this question. If you line my kids up they look like nesting dolls from bigger to smaller. We’re obviously not a soccer team of same aged kids cruising through Wal-Mart. And if that’s not what they mean, then what?

 

  1. “No, I mean are any of them they adopted?” Hmm, even if they were adopted (they’re not) they would be every bit as much “mine” as if they were biological. So again, just, no.   *Fist Bump* ~ Kate

 

  1. “Do they all have the same father?” If I had been drinking something, I surely would have spit it out. But alas I was grocery shopping, and it was an inquisitive checker asking. While I didn’t have anything to spit, I did manage a loud, unladylike guffaw. (And yes, they have the same father.)

 

  1. “Are you done?” This question doesn’t actually bother me, except for the fact that I get asked it ALL the TIME. And because I lie. (I say yes, I’m done, then have another one.) That’s not entirely true – I’m telling the truth at the time. But I reserve the right to change my mind, and I do.

 

  1. “You do know what causes that, right?” For this one I usually put on my best Mona Lisa smile and just stare at them until they become uncomfortable and change the subject, or they blush because they realize how intrusive/personal their question was. My husband, on the other hand, puts on his most lascivious smile and says, “Yes, yes I do.” I love him so.

 

  1. “Are you Catholic?” Nope.

 

  1. “Are you Mormon?” Why yes, yes we are. And while I know Mormons are known for having large families, my husband is a convert to the church and my parents were inactive for most of my childhood (meaning they didn’t go to church). So having a huge family was not on my to-do list.

 

My husband, Adam, has 1 sister. I have 2 brothers and gained 2 step-sisters when I was 16 but they were already adults. To say that we are flying by the seat of our pants with this huge family business would be spot-on. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

confessions-of-a-flawed-human

Hi there! My name is Christina. I am a thirty-something wife, mother, daughter, and dork (these are important things to know). My husband, Adam, and I have 7 children: Melanie, 15; Angela, 12; Lyla, 9; Christian, 7; Jason, 5; Lloyd, 3; and Dory, 6 months. So 3 girls, 3 boys, and a girl. We planned it that way (ha!). Though Adam and I both grew up in San Diego, we have been in the Dallas/Fort Worth area for over ten years now. I think it’s safe to say that we aren’t going anywhere. Getting it right is something I strive for continually, and rarely achieve. Whether it’s parenting, cooking, crafting, living a healthy lifestyle or homeschooling, I have challenges. Hopefully you can’t relate, because YOU are getting it right. If that’s the case, you can sit back and be amused by my…. antics? Issues? Trials? Hmm, my goofs. How’s that? And if you CAN relate – you have my sympathy. We’re in this together. Confessions of a Flawed Human can also be found on Facebook!
Until Next Time ~Kate
4 Responses
  1. Sheri says:

    Love this! Yes, big families can be overwhelming to those not in them but there is no greater experience than a pile of love coming at you from numerous little ones. Beautifully written descriptions of how insensitive our community can be when judgment is not necessary. I also think there is a huge difference between a large, cohesive, moral, solid family than one that may be less so. I bow my head to large families that are able to come together and be the truest lesson in family. Kudos!

  2. Amber says:

    Well said! I don’t think I would respond to questions like that with such humor and grace.

  3. gill says:

    Brilliant post xx Keep writing x

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