the broken road that led me straight to you…..
November is National Adoption Awareness Month. A few readers were kind enough to share their stories here! If you are considering adoption I hope you will check out all the adoption journey blog posts we have had readers so kindly share! I am sure you will find them encouraging. There are many adoption paths – International, Domestic Private Adoption, as well as Fost Adopt (which is FREE!) – I don’t think there is any wrong place to adopt from (we have adopted internationally as well as a hard to place private adoption) – but know there are over 140 million orphans in the world; if you feel a tug on your heart towards adoption I beg you to explore the options you have. Here is my friend Kristin’s story – God certainly blessed the broken road……
My husband, Mike, and I were married in 2009. We had been dating a week and a half when I told him of my inability to have children. He has two uncles and an aunt who were adopted, so he was perfectly comfortable with that being a possible path towards parenthood.
We ended up fostering a baby boy (Little D.) in 2010 through the county’s foster to adopt program. He was with us from the ages of 3 – 7 months old and then went to live with his birth father.
Not feeling up tot he emotional toll of loving and attaching ourselves to another child, we decided not to continue in the fost-adopt program, but instead do private adoption. The cost had prevented us before. My parents wonderfully offered to pay for private adoption.
Our profile with one agency went live in March 2011. Then after being on the list with that agency for almost 2 years, we added a second agency.
In March 2013 we were a couple hours away from home to get out of town on a short trip for my husband’s spring break. While there, we received a call that a baby boy had been born at home but was in the hospital near where we live, and we had been chosen through our CA agency (even though we live in CO) to be his parents. The agency hadn’t made a connection yet with the birth father, but we had been told that he wasn’t at all involved. We knew of the legal risk, but thought relinquishment would go smoothly, not a problem. Well, it turned out that the birth father hadn’t known of the pregnancy, and after we had had our son, Russell, for almost 3 weeks, the birth father decided to parent. We were devastated by this loss of our son through this failed adoption. Without knowing how, we trudged on. A situation that can cause a lot of stress on a marriage actually brought us closer and strengthened our relationship.
After counseling and a lot of discussion, we decided to be placed back on the books for a child maybe May 2013. I’ll never forget the phone call. It was Tuesday, December 3rd, 2013, and we were told we had been chosen to be parents to a baby due in March 2014. A few days before Christmas 2013 we had a FaceTime chat with the birth mother, G. She told us that the baby was a girl.
We spent a lot of time e-mailing and texting and got to know G. very well. We ended up going to the town where she lives about a week before the birth. It was to be an open adoption. We had the opportunity to get to know G., her daughter, her parents, and her sisters.
Our daughter was born on March 6, 2014 at 12:11 a.m., weighing 5 lbs. 8 oz. She is now a beautiful, smart, sweet, strong, and happy almost 8 month old girl. We have our court date for the finalization of her adoption on Thursday, November 6, the day she turns 8 months old, and in National Adoption Month. My parents are coming from Oceanside, and my mother-in-law from Michigan to help us celebrate this wonderful occasion. We maintain a beautiful open adoption relationship with our daughter’s birth mother. Who knew adoption could be like this?
I still am processing, and may be for the remainder of my days, the fact that I love Russell and will always grieve the loss of our son. Yet, if we hadn’t experienced the tragedy of a failed adoption, we would not be parents of our beautiful daughter. We feel extremely lucky and blessed.
Kristin is a stay-at-home mom and professional musician. She and husband Mike are proud parents to their beautiful daughter, Rose. Kristin enjoys taking Rose on morning runs around the park, cooking, making her own baby food, baking, gardening, reading, playing the piano and violin, and singing and dancing around her music studio with a smiling and laughing baby. Mike and Kristin’s adoption journey spanned over five years with many triumphs and defeats and joys and sorrows.You can follow Mark & Kristin’s Journey to Adoption on their blog