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For crying out loud, I don’t want to see your underwear at church.

Posted on: by Kate : 15 Comments
Home » Family » For crying out loud, I don’t want to see your underwear at church.


I totally respect it is not my place to tell people how to live or what to wear.  I don’t consider myself very fashionably adventurous, but I truly appreciate those that are.  While I am pretty sure nobody cares; I am gonna argue a bit with a trend that I think is just straight up inappropriate.   And this trend is inappropriate in two very different ways, some people are doing it unapologetically and some people are totally being inappropriate on accident so I don’t know, I just wanna talk about it K?

So some people just dress more provocatively than me – that is OK.  While that cut out lace top with a very pretty hot pink bra might attract some customers to your hair salon (or wherever, this isn’t knocking hair salons…. but it is the exact reason why I left a hair salon in the past); it’s also going to be the reason I am going to leave your salon (or whatever business) and take my family with me.  I just don’t want to see your underwear, and I don’t want my family to see your underwear. Plain and simple. Different strokes, different folks.  And I mean there are tons of places that I am not surprised or even offended to see people push the fashion envelope, but if people are dressing suggestively I just choose to avoid. And they can probably do just fine without my business.  No protest, no call for a change of their behavior at their home or place of business. No biggie.

But what used to be a really marginal thing is pretty much everywhere now.  See thru tops without a tank top and cut off shorts where you can see the bottom pockets and a lot of times the wearer’s booty is just like a normal thing.  It’s so normal that people are coming into church showing off their adorable bras and tiny shorts.  Now I get it, Jesus is all “Come as you are.”  I get that, I love that.  The problem though is many times these women (sometimes not even women, sometimes these are young girls) in skimpy attire are not visitors, they are many cases regulars. Parishioners.  Ream me all you want, I don’t think that is cool. It isn’t rampant, but I see it pretty much every week at our fairly large church and all over the place during Summer Camp…. church Summer Camp, I get it is California and the beach is right across the street, but come on.  I get that it is 2015, but modesty at least to a certain extent is still a thing right?  I mean, at least at church right? When my daughter wants to know why she can’t wear a bikini under her altered VBS shirt like the volunteers that’s a problem. I know teenage boys  and men alike are gonna look at females no matter what. I get that, I am not asking to go back to the days of no make up and long wool skirts, but is there a line at all anymore? Can we please talk to the girl(s) that has altered her VBS issued volunteer shirt purposefully to show off  her string bikini while wearing likely the shortest shorts she could possibly find?  Because that is a thing I saw way too many times at VBS the last couple years.  VBS you guys.  Not the beach, not cheer camp….. Vacation Bible School.  What really bothers me is seeing awkward dads walking in for pick up and not knowing where to look.  Maybe I am crazy old prude.

These girls know what they are doing. They are being sexy.  OK, but I mean are we really at a place in society where we can’t even go to church without seeing undies?  I don’t want to see your undies (or string bikinis) at church, I don’t want my son to see your undies at church, I don’t want my husband to see your undies at church, and I don’t want my daughters to think that is normal.  A friend posted on her facebook page last year “I am looking at a girl at the mall with her underwear coming out the top and bottom of her shorts, I want to tell her ‘you are worth more than whoever that appeals to.’ ”  Am I saying there isn’t a time and a place?  Sure – the beach, or like I don’t know – can we just start with NOT church?

OK and then there is this other thing – some of you don’t know your clothes are see thru!

Example : Harry and I are walking from the nursery drop off to our grown up church service.  We are laughing about our Little Miss C and how she pitched a fit at drop off but she found a baby doll and was all smiles in four seconds.  Crocodile tears are her thing.  Well all of a sudden my husband’s shoes become super interesting to himself.  I look ahead and now I know why.  About 10 feet in front of us there is a couple that I assume from behind is maybe 10 years older than us.  Husband is wearing, oh I can’t quite remember – clothes of some sort.  Wife was blonde, wearing a coral colored dress with short sleeves somewhat fitted that was just above the knee and wedges. Very pretty dress that was not at all inappropriate for our hip church in it’s fit.  The problem was that it was TOTALLY see thru.  You could kinda see her bra, not really it was a neutral color.  But you know what I could see, her dark thong with polka dots and tiny lace trim.  Her dress was so see thru I could see the print and frilliness.  Now, I don’t know this lady but I assume this was not the look she was going for.  And my husband did the only thing he thought was appropriate; looked down at his feet because he felt it was inappropriate to know what that lady’s chonies look like.

PSA : There are a lot of beautiful dresses, skirts, and tops out there that are sheer. Some of these dresses don’t seem that sheer in the dressing room.  I know because I have been a victim.  I bought a really pretty maxi dress with a built in half slip.  It was so pretty in the dressing room….. then we went to an outdoor party and guess what; it’s brighter outside and even with the built in slip it was too sheer.  Harry let me know because he knew I would be embarrassed and I spent the rest of the party indoors.  Now before wearing something out and about we do a lighting test in our back yard when light is brightest.  If it is see thru I either bring it back or wear a slip.  They still sell those things.

I’m really not trying to tell people how to dress, I’m just letting off some steam. As it warms up it just is troubling me as a wife and mom.  If you think this is archaic well, I hope you will forgive my old school ways.  I just think underwear are for under clothes.  I think sexy underwear are for the bedroom.  I think both should be worn – just not on public display, especially in a house of worship.

*steps off soap box*

Until Next Time ~ Kate
15 Responses
  1. Penny says:

    Really great post and so true! You know what really bothers me? It’s when girls – or women – wear a backless dress and then wear a bra that runs right across that bare back! Haha I just can’t stand it. I guess it’s just another example of being from a different generation.

  2. Christina says:

    Sounds like you might want to switch churches, just saying. If it is that offensive then why keep subjecting yourself to the way people are dressing.

  3. Lizz says:

    It’s not just your church. I’ve seen girls dressed like that at my folks church too. It’s quite common. It’s sad that you are seeing this in the VBS volunteers. This really does need to be bought to the attention of the pastors and directors. They needs to know that this is the example being set by the young ladies who are volunteering, and that your daughter is wondering why she can’t wear a bikini under an altered shirt too. Yes, girls need to grown up without being made to feel ashamed of their bodies. But at the same time kids are still young and impressionable, and it’s not healthy for them to be shown that dressing provocatively/sexy something to do everyday, everywhere.

    Young boys are still learning how to respect women. They need to be able to listen to someone who is a female, who is teaching them something, and not be so focused on T-and-A that they can’t pay attention to the lesson. They also shouldn’t have the opportunity to be made to feel uncomfortable by the possible physical reaction their bodies have when they are turned on at church! They may not want to come back if they can’t even feel “safe” at church. Plus, if they grow up thinking that females are supposed to flaunt themselves all the time that’s not just icky, it’s dangerous.

    And a quick P.S. to all those girls in the super short shorts: when you sit down, (with your half naked bottom on the chair I might have to sit in next week), unless you are sitting with your legs completely together, your tushy isn’t the only thing those shorts show off!

    • kate says:

      such a bummer – i don’t mind relaxed at all, i am not old school as far as that goes, but sexy clothes at church is just counter productive – be sexy at home with your spouse – flirt a bit on a date, but how about not at church 😉

  4. […] Oh – and if you are a volunteer at VBS pretty please read this…… For Crying Out Loud, I don’t want to see your underwear at church. […]

  5. Yaitza says:

    Whatever happened to dressing up for church? These days people wear jeans and t-shirts and I am with you, please do a wardrobe check before you live the house… lol

  6. I don’t care what anyone wears to church, it’s really none of my business, with one exception. It’s not my place to judge. I’m glad people are in church regardless of what they’re wearing. There are much more important things to think about than fashion… EXCEPT when we’re showing things, be it under garments or body parts, that should not be showing. Decency, folks. I do not need to see anyone else’s breasts or butt or undies any where. Not at church, the grocery store, or the PTA. I miss modesty and the self-respect that goes with it.

    • kate says:

      totally! me too! I don’t feel anyone has to get fancy for Church – but yeah, keep your undies covered and the stuff your bathing suit is supposed to cover covered – I don’t think that is asking too much 😉

  7. Emily says:

    I totally AGREE!! I pick up some kids at a middle school a couple days a week and the clothing, or lack thereof, in these KIDS is absolutely unbelievable!!!! They are so disturbing & I do not know if their parents really let them out if the house dressed that way or if the kids(mainly girls) are changing after mom & dad leave????!!!
    I can’t believe it’s happening at church!! At a summer camp?!! It makes these poor men/dads completely awkward when having to look at these young girls dressed in simpy outfits. These poor girls don’t need attention that way!!

  8. Alexandra (Momsbagoftricks) says:

    Amen sister! Good read! Respect at church is one of my big beefs in life!

  9. Trisha says:


  10. Jezel says:

    Love this!! Totally agree!!! I wish more people read this.

    • kate says:

      Thanks Jezel!! Share it 😉 I am all about ‘come as you are’ – I don’t think people should have to dress up to impress folks at church… but underwear needs to be covered 😉

  11. Shannon Dailey says:

    Totally agree! I want our Pastor to be on his game. It’s a distraction for all men even woman. When our pastor is preaching I don’t want him to be distracted by inappropriate and offensive clothing or behavior period. He is there to give a message and our men and boys are there to receive it. Thank you for your story. Have a blessed day.

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